First fight with My Boy

Am a bit emo this morning... last night for the first time I had a fight with my boy.

He was already moody when I fetched him from my mom's place. When I asked him whether he has done his revision (mcm selalu lar, I always ask them lots of questions in the car, on our way back home), he answered NO. Asked him whether he has eaten, he answered NO. Asked him why NO to both questions, he answered TIRED.

He was very quiet throughout the journey, very not usual. Ain was very talkative, singing away Zahid's songs and all. In my heart, probably he was VERY tired. When we reached home, Khalis said he was hungry. Told him to bring up all his stuff and come down for dinner, and he did exactly. During dinner, he was again very quiet. I asked him again whether he has any homework to do, this time he answered YES, MATHS. Told him to do it after dinner.

Right after dinner, he went up. I assumed he would do his homework. But his baba went up to check on him while I was busy clearing the dishes and all, he was actually gazing away. Baba asked him to quickly do his homework, he answered I DONT KNOW. So baba asked him to come down and get mama's help as he was already rushing for work. This was when 'my blood really go upstairs....'

He brought down his stuff and showed to me. So I explained to him. He looked very spaced out. Tried several times to bring him back to his work, but he seemed not interested at that moment. I was really chissed off. I started to raise my voice. The main reason I was very upset was because the stuff that he needs to do was considered a revision to him. But he looked damn freaking blurr and totally spaced out. My blood was boiling 120% at that moment. Immediately I chased him off and to do it on his own.

My poor boy, he ran upstairs, slammed his room door. I tried to cool off for a moment, took my shower and solat. After that, I checked him, he was actually packing his bag for the next day's timetable. I asked him, whether he has finished his homework, he TOTALLY INGORED ME!!!
I asked him whether he wanted to talk to me... he just shook his head and refused to talk to me.
My heart went berserk and I was confused myself. I went back to my room and continued reading to Ain.

About 1/2 hour later, Khalis came to me with his eyes bulging out. He suddenly hugged me and cried like there was no tomorrow. I almost cried myself but I tried to be strong. I asked him what happened. He said SORRY. He was just to tired to think. And he promised to do his howmework today. He said his Maths teacher gave them until end of this week to finish off the work.

Then, I told him, he should have told me that he is tired and he could actually stretch the homework until end of this week. Again he said Sorry MAMA, which definitely melted my heart. I told him, next time please don't do it again. And now everything is back to normal again.

I never knew the challenges of raising up children will come that early in my doorsteps. Not sure whether I am ready for them, but I will definitely take one step at a time.

How time flies, my little boy is growing up and showing tantrums already!!!! isk..isk...isk...